A terrible thing is happening in America. Once sacred swimming records are falling. Clearly, these swimmers didn't get the memo: no one should be able to break records now that the "suits" have been taken away.  There was little improvement in swimming worldwide over the last couple years. Things were so much better in the 80s when we had a technique-based sport. Also, Bjorn Borg was so much better than Roger Federer, don't even try to argue it.

I've decided to devote this space to these despicable swimmers who persist in their quest to beat those that came before them. How dare they? They're making me look even slower than I did when I was actually competing. Ok lets get to it:

Dagny Knutson- New HS records in the 200 IM and 100 free

Dagny is guilty of a lot of things besides breaking high school records. Among the charges you could level against her:

1. Forgetting that North Dakota is not allowed to produce world class swimmers

2. Swimming high school and actually cheering for her teammates and caring about their state championship

3. Bouncing back from a disappointing summer and not burning out.

But the record breaking is the big one. I can't forgive it. I mean, she already had the 200 and 500 free from last year. Whatever, I don't care- I will always believe that Tracy Caulkins and Sippy Woodhead were way better and that's that.

Bolles Boys 200 Medley:

Unfortunately, NCAA regulations prevent me from commenting too much on this race, except to say that they broke the previous record by two full seconds.

Matt Grevers 200 Back.

Ok fine, this wasn't a record, but like the Adrian swims, it was fast nonetheless (1:41). I think we have to put an asterisk on this one because he had access to a 6'8 body that none of his competitors had access to. I mean, can we really have a technique based sport when someone's technique is basically being way bigger than everybody else? Matt Biondi was only 6'6, and that was way more fair. Yeah, that where we should draw the line- right at 6'6.

I guess thats all we have for this week. But mark my words swimmers, I will be watching your every move. Don't think you can sneak beating any records or swimming fast in textile suits past me. I won't stand for it. In fact, I'm going to talk my buddies at FINA about you right now.