If there is a defining mantra of our sport, it most certainly is one of hard work. Coaches across the country, with good reason, tell their swimmers that the path to success is on some level very simple: work hard and you will get what you deserve. It's a positive message. The satisfaction of emerging from arduous training better for it is perhaps the most satisfying thing about swimming.

Teachers deliver a similar diatribe. Work hard and you will get good grades, get into a good college and get a good job. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with either of these messages. Their intention is entirely positive, to encourage people to make the best of what they have.

There is, however, a problem. I got my introduction to it in a rather incidental way. As many of my loyal blog readers know, I spent last year getting a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology. A year ago nearly to the date I met an alumnus of the program, Christine Duvivier, who happened to be a parent of high school kids in my hometown. This is relevant for one reason.

Wellesley, Massachusetts is a wealthy suburb of Boston. The public schools are considered to be very good. The teachers and parents push their children to work hard. The kids, by objective measures, do very well. They get into good colleges. However, in the past few years, there has been a mortal chink in the proverbial armor. At an alarming rate, students at the high school have taken their own lives.

But suicide was just the most dramatic symptom of what Duvivier saw as a serious educational failing. Kids in Wellesley and across the country are far more likely to suffer from depression than their parents generation. And beyond any categorical mental illness, there remained a significant group of kids who just plain felt bad and struggled. I'll let Duvivier explain in her own words:

Christine edit - 1.17.09 from Bill Parker on Vimeo.

In the same way, we have been sending swimmers a false message. If you are not competing at the highest level, it is because you don't work hard enough. Surely we have recognized talent as well, but the mantra of hard work is everywhere. When people talk about Michael Phelps, they certainly recognize his physical gifts: height, wingspan, and large feet. They may even mention his seemingly supernatural ability to process lactic acid. But there is a popular assumption that Michael is who he is because he just plain wants it more than anyone else. The message to those who don't achieve the same success? I guess you just didn't work that hard.

The message can be particularly disheartening for swimmers in specific circumstances. Everyone knows a swimmer that works incredibly hard but doesn't see results. I've seen many that develop a complex: "if only they had put more effort in, I would have met my goals". They never consider the possibility that they overtrained. They never consider any alternative.

I'm not suggesting as a solution the kind of glad-handing self esteem build-up that has been possibly even more disastrous over the past twenty years. As a member of the self-esteem generation, where adults tried to prop up the fragile egos of youngsters by telling everyone they did a good job and making sure they all got a trophy at the end of the year, I can tell you that it didn't work out the way people had hoped. No, when you give false praise you really only create two bad ends: either the child doesn't believe and learns to mistrust all praise, or they really believe it and then later confront the startling reality that they aren't as good as everyone told them they were.

I think ultimately we need to broaden the definition of hard work, and give praise where it is due. No swimmer is perfect, but there are literally hundreds of different ways each individual can make themselves better. The best coaches I've ever had found a way to praise people for things that they had actually done right. It felt authentic, and it worked.

Some may read this blog as a 700 word justification of why the writer was a fairly average Division 3 breaststroker. And you know what? I'm completely fine with that.